Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.