I hate ducks.
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again