So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....