dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
