He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
