It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
