I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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