The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
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