i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
