I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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