If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
