eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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