Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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