drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
