and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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