dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
