I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i think my cat just said my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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