It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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