you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Someone signed my nipple.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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