He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize