what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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