It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
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I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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