What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize