It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
