I want to have your abortion
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
