dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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