That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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