At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
it was like eating out sand paper
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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