This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
