PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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