Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
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