Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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