I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize