sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
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I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
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That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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