I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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