I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
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