Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize