No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
birth control should be required to get into college
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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