Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize