I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
