i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
my being single is dangerous.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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