So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You did what with his pubic hair?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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