3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
