Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think your dad took our porno
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
