I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
