he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
