May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
