The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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