Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
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After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
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No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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