Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
