It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
