yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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