just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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