She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
