I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
