i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
