true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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