Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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