zippers are such a cool invention
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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