fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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